bonerparty:

if i was this much of a fucking 10 i’d probably just call in sick to work and squat over a hand mirror all day with a flashlight. just sayin’.

for guys, vaginas are like a cross between a pocket knife, a really cool nightclub and a wizard. it can do SO many things, you REALLY want to get into it, but you have no idea how it works and therefore it must be magical.

I would have gone with a jacuzzi, a box of cupcakes, and a trip to magic mountain… but yeah, we’re on the same page here. She’s like a bangin’ JEM, but like, for dudes who aren’t gay.